It was the most magical birthday! I drove down the coast from San Francisco to Big Sur and stayed in an ocean view yurt at Treebones Resort for two days- its glamping at its very best! It truly is the “greatest meeting of land and sea”. This was a solo trip, I was bummed when my girlfriends from the east coast couldn’t join but it was a blessing in disguise. If I had stayed at Treebones any other time, I wouldn’t have the most amazing memory of my 40th birthday. I was reminded this weekend to trust the timing of my life.
A shiny new decade just waiting for me to conquer!
My yurt (#7) was perched on the hilltop with an unobstructed view of the grandeur of the Pacific Ocean. Yurts are a circular dwelling; they were very popular with the Mongolian nomads. The history nerd in me, tried to imagine Genghis Khan commanding his army and empire from his ger, Mongolian for yurt (yurt is actually a Russian word) during their years of conquest. As far away, distant lands as it sounds to have oil lanterns, silk drapery and Persian rugs adorning their gers; my rustic chic yurt with its plush queen sized bed, mountain of pillows, cozy down-comforter, vanity sink with hot water and electric fireplace … triumphs!
Anton Chekhov said, “Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”
As I sat on the private porch in my Adirondack chairs feeling the sun as it burned away the dense morning fog hovering over the coast; any residual anxiety about this number quickly melted away. The greatness of Big Sur is a bold reminder of how minuscule my worries are and it forces you to appreciate the grand scheme of things, like someone having the foresight to build a road, along the jagged coast line of the Santa Lucia Mountains. The stillness and purity of this dramatic setting will stir something in you.
I am in the middle of my life. No more fighting with imaginary expectations. I have accepted and released. For me, it comes back to Nietzsche’s Amor fati, which is Latin for love of one’s fate; loving the choices you’ve already made- the good, the bad and the ugly. I think it’s impossible to live a life to the fullest with no regrets, there are always regrets, and it just means I have made choices that were best for me at the time. With these choices, I have created my path. This year, I am choosing to have more solo adventures. I am no longer waiting for someone to do the things I love. Traveling is one of those loves, one I am continuously chasing. Not a believer in soul mates, but definitely a fool for love affairs, especially the ones with the intense adrenaline rush.
Traveling changes you, if you let it but traveling solo transforms you. Writer Paul Theroux once said that if you aren’t traveling alone, you aren’t really traveling. It’s so true, if you want to live outside of your comfort zone, solo traveling will force you to get comfortable with the uncomfortable; stripped of your buffers and vulnerable to the unknown. At first, the hardest part is asking for a table for one and that one pint of beer. The waitress will clear the extra place setting, you might get a few glances from other diners but when she returns with your goblet filled with Goose Island Sofie, you find yourself enjoying every sip slowly, softly, like a lingering kiss. And if you’re very lucky, a full-looking, bright moon will be there to enchant you.
This was the single, greatest gift I could have given myself. It sets the pace for days ahead and one day, if that person comes along, they will be able to share the better parts of me.
“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.” Albert Einstein
~Nerissa
Here we are, now what? 